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Dad Was Smarter Than I Thought Proverbs 13:1 |
June 18, 2006 Pastor Tom Marcum |
A few years ago I bumped into a childhood friend, Dennis, that I had not seen in decades and he told me a wonderful story about his dad.
As a young boy, Dennis was a pitcher on a Little League baseball team and his dad was the coach. During one particularly tough game Dennis said that he just couldn’t get anybody out. The batters he didn’t walk got hits. The opposing team scored run after run. After a while, as each new batter came to the plate Dennis would look to the dugout imploring his dad to take him out of the game and put in another pitcher. His dad just stared back at him.
Finally, Dennis said he just couldn’t take it anymore. So, he stomped off the pitchers mound, walked to the shortstop, gave him the ball and told him to go in and pitch for him.
Dennis’ dad was on him in an instant. Racing from the dugout with fire in his eyes he yelled at his son, “What do you think you’re doing?” Dennis, now on the verge of tears, said, “Dad, I’ve lost it. I’m coming out.”
His dad grabbed the ball back from the short stop and slammed it back into Dennis’ glove and said, “I’m the manager of this team and you’ll stay in this game until I take you out. Do you understand?”
Resigned to his fate Dennis meekly responded, “Yes, sir.”
His dad said, “Good.” With that he snatched the ball back from Dennis, slammed it back into the shortstops’ glove and said, “Now, you get in there and pitch. He’s lost it!”
Now, that’s a great story on its own, but what intrigues me most about it is how I found out about it. Dennis’s dad had just died. I was conducting his funeral. And when Dennis stood to offer a brief tribute to his dad’s influence on him, he told that story. Who would have imagined that, 45 years later, the son would tell that particular story at his dad’s funeral? I’m guessing that his dad had no idea of the lasting impression that incident made on his son’s life.
All of which leads me to ask this question this Father’s Day: What kind of impressions are we leaving on our children? What lasting lessons are we passing on to our sons and our daughters?
Proverbs 13:1 says: “A wise son heeds his father’s instruction.” I have to admit that I didn’t always do too well in the heeding department but I am proud to say that my life has been blessed immeasurably by a dad who absolutely excelled in the instructing department. This morning, I want to share with you 3 of his most memorable lessons.
Lesson #1 is this: THERE IS GREAT HONOR IN A JOB WELL DONE. Dad not only taught me to work hard but he also taught me to give my very best effort to everything I did. Whether it was school, or sports, or work, or anything else there was no excuse for laziness, sloppiness or a half-hearted effort. The bottom line was real clear: Any job worth doing is worth doing right.
My dad took us to church every Sunday and has faithfully served his church for nearly 50 years, but I don’t remember dad ever quoting scripture to validate the wisdom of his lessons. Even so, as I’ve grown up I’ve come to realize that my dad’s advice was thoroughly rooted in the word of God. In fact, the Bible has a great deal to say about the honor that is rightfully accorded those who work hard and the dishonor that is rightfully earned by those who refuse to do so. Those who simply choose the path of least resistance. Let me offer some examples.
Proverbs 12:11 says, “He who works his land will have abundant food, but he who chases fantasies lacks judgment.” Hmmm. For some reason the word, Lottery, comes to mind.
Proverbs 12:24 says, “Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in slave labor.”
Proverbs 14:23 says, “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.”
But it is our politically incorrect friend, Paul, who gets to the heart of the matter most succinctly when, in 2 Thessalonians 3:10 he simply says, “If a man will not work, he shall not eat.”
The point is clear: there is great honor in a job well done.
My first lesson in the honor of hard work came with my first job as a mower of neighborhood yards. One Saturday I agreed to mow a neighbors’ yard for the grand sum of $1. When I came home after finishing the job my dad said, “Let’s go take a look at your work.” So, we walked down to the house and he said, “You didn’t edge along the sidewalks.” I said, “Dad, edging wasn’t part of the deal. I told her I’d mow the yard and I mowed it.”
30 minutes later, when I’d finished edging dad came back. He said, “You didn’t clip the grass around each of the sprinkler heads.” Now, visibly irritated I responded, “Dad, all I’m getting out of this deal is a buck. I did exactly what I told them I would do and now I’ve done even more.” 30 minutes later they had the most well groomed sprinkler heads on the block.
And I was furious. I mumbled and grumbled the whole time I was doing the extra work. Whatever lesson my dad was trying to teach was lost on me that day. Fortunately, that wasn’t the only time he taught that lesson. In fact, he never stopped teaching that lesson because it was a lesson he lived everyday of his life. And eventually, I caught on.
--At the time I thought it was all about getting the buck. Eventually I came to understand it’s all about giving your best.
--At the time I thought it was all about getting done. Eventually I came to understand it’s all about being proud of what you’ve done.
--At the time I thought it was all about making a profit. Eventually I came to understand it’s all about making a statement about who you are and who you serve. As we read just a couple of weeks ago in Colossians 3:17, “Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus…”
The Bible says, All hard work brings a profit.
Dad said, There is great honor in a job well done.
Wise is the child who heeds his father’s instruction.
A second lesson that my dad permanently impressed upon me is that, THERE IS GREAT VIRTUE IN A WORD WELL KEPT. This was a lesson in integrity, trustworthiness and honesty. And I learned, early on, that this was a lesson about which there could be no compromise with my dad.
--You make a commitment…you keep it.
--You give your word…you honor it.
--When you speak…you speak the truth. Not just when it’s easy. Not just when it’s convenient. But all the time.
And, again, this is a lesson firmly rooted in the wisdom and word of God.
Proverbs 12:19,22 says, “Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment. The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.”
And, in Matthew 5:37, Jesus put it like this, “Simply let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’.”
Once again, this was a lesson my dad taught me not just by his words but also…and much more powerfully…by his example. I was incredibly blessed to watch him live this lesson in every aspect of life.
--While the parents of my friends continued to buy the “12 and under” tickets to theme parks and movie theaters long after their kids had turned 13 or 14, my dad started paying full price for my tickets the day I turned 13. Dad wanted me to know that integrity is something you never put up for sale. And he made an impression on me.
--And how many times did I see my dad return money to a store clerk who had accidentally given him too much change? It never crossed his mind to do anything differently. To have kept what wasn’t rightfully his would have been a lie. And he made an impression on me.
--And dad also reinforced this lesson about truthfulness and integrity in something that he didn’t do. To the best of my knowledge I never heard my dad end a sentence with these words: “And I mean it.” I’ve heard some parents conclude nearly everything they say to their kids with the words, “and I mean it.” But dad never did. Because if he didn’t mean it he didn’t say it. And it didn’t take long for me to figure out that if he did say it…he most certainly meant it. There was no need for him to elaborate.
The Bible says, “The Lord delights in those who are truthful.”
Dad said, “There is great virtue in a word well kept.”
Wise is the child who heeds his father’s instruction.
I could go on and on but for the sake of time I’ll conclude with one final and grand lesson that my dad impressed upon me and that is that THERE IS GREAT VALUE IN A FAMILY WELL LEAD.
While I have vivid memories of my dad working very hard at his profession I have no memory of ever feeling that he did so at the expense of our family. If he wasn’t coaching my Little League team, he was in the stands rooting for me. When I joined the Indian Guides, proudly taking the name, Little Feather, it was dad who wore the goofy headdress inscribed with…you guessed it…Big Feather. In short, I learned that family was important not because we lived in a big house…we didn’t; not because we drove fancy cars…we didn’t; not because I was given everything I wanted…I wasn’t. I learned about the value of family because my dad did more than just provide for our family…my dad took seriously the responsibility of leading our family.
Dad recognized that families work best when we honor God’s design for the family. And key to God’s design is for family and church to work together to reinforce those lessons that help our children grow into godly adults. I was blessed immeasurably by my parents’ decision to make the church the center of our family life.
Ephesians 6:1-4 speaks of God’s design for the family. It says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a promise—‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
My dad not only took Paul’s words to heart…he brought them to life.
--Through my dad, the husband, I learned how a godly man treats his wife—and his example remained strong and firm until the moment she took her last breath shortly before their 60th anniversary.
--Through my dad, the parent, I learned how a godly man leads his family offering my brother and me love, guidance and discipline and doing it all with unwavering consistency.
--And as both the husband and parent, he taught me…in no uncertain terms…that he and my mom would be respected, honored and obeyed. One aspect of that lesson is particularly vivid. In my house it was not wise to talk back to dad. But it was nothing short of foolhardy to talk back to mom in front of my dad. Dad taught me, early on, that to challenge my mom was to challenge his bride and it was never very smart to mess with my dad’s bride.
--And I also watched as my dad, the leader, made sure that his family was in church together every Sunday. I watched him give himself to the church with the same commitment to excellence with which he gave himself to his work and his family.
Dad taught me how to throw a baseball. He also taught me about the heart of a servant.
Dad taught me how to swim. He also taught me about sacrificial giving.
Dad taught me how to love my wife, how to serve my church and how to follow my Lord.
The Bible says, Honor your father and mother.
Dad said, There is a great value in a family well lead.
Wise is the child who heeds his father’s instruction.
If you were blessed with a godly father whose example pointed you toward the kind of life that is pleasing to God, be grateful. And learn from him. And determine that you will set the same kind of example for your children.
If you were not so blessed… If your father’s example was/is anything other than godly, learn from him as well. And determine that you will not pass to your family that which God never intended to be passed to you. Determine that the pain stops with you. Determine that you will not replicate in your behavior those aspects of your father’s example which were hurtful or damaging to you.
And above everything…whether you had a great and godly father or not…be grateful that a father’s love is still available to you through your Heavenly Father. And determine to pass to your family the lessons you learn from Him.
© Copyright 2006 Pastor Tom Marcum